COUSINS (4 3/4 YRS)

The whole family went to Houston this weekend to visit cousin Timothy, the new arrival to Auntie Thi's family. Daddy, momma and S arrived at lunchtime and stayed till dinner time. S played off and on with her cousin Lillian (6), pretty much ignoring Matthew (9). Her second cousins, Kendrah (8) and Sophia (5) came to visit the new baby too. (Cousin Kendrah and Sophia are from Uncle Albert's side of the family, Auntie Alice's daughters.)

The girls ran around with S trailing behind them. Sometimes, they would include S and sometimes they wouldn't include her (not out of spite, more forgetfulness). Having the addition of two unfamilar persons (despite them being relatives) made S uncomfortable. Often, momma notice it was because S wasn't sure how to get "insert" herself in their play. Once in awhile, like their gymnastic show, involved more skill than she had. Sometimes, she stood by the sidelines and watched or went to get some security hugs from momma.

Later, when daddy, momma, and S arrived at Auntie Tien's house, S was excited about playing with cousin Sarai (3), who will be four soon. Sarai and S ran around pretending to be princesses, viruses, and family. Cousin Abby who is not quite two was basically ignored. Engaging Sarai was more easy for S. Some of it is that the age gap is less for S and Sarai and some of it is personality. S easily followed Sarai's lead and for the most part, played well with Sarai, so well that S told momma tonight that Sarai is her "bestest cousin."

P.S. Daddy, momma, and S, along with om ngoai and Auntie Tien, cousin Sarai and Abby, visited the Natural Science museum again. This time S really enjoyed the dinosaur exhibit; thanks to the "Read-And-Find-Out" books about dinosaurs that momma bought.

PLAYGROUND (4 3/4 YRS)

Playground dynamics is rougher than momma remembered. On Thursday (Feb 24), S wanted to play with Ruby but Jules was playing with Ruby. When she asked to join in, Jules said no, which hurt her feelings. She tried to play again with Ruby after snack but this time the pair ignored her.

Luckily for her, Milo and company included her in their spaceship, where they all pretended to be aliens. Later, the group of kids playing pirates joined in -- because you can't play keepout, according to S. So the aliens became alien pirates. In the afternoon, Lucia and S went hunting for treasure together.

Although S enjoyed playing aliens and hunting for treasure, but her heart still recalls Jules saying "no."

WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? (4 3/4 YRS OLD)

Finally, S asked momma about where babies come from in front of daddy. First momma explained that S use to be an egg in momma and then daddy add a piece of him and then a baby was form. "How did daddy get a piece of him inside you?" asked S. Momma looks at daddy and realizes that he's not going to answer any of S's question. Momma realized she was alone in this as she watched daddy smirked.

"Well, daddy makes sperm and the sperm and egg join together and makes a baby," responded momma. "How does daddy get the sperm inside you?, continues S. Good Heaven thinks momma. Okay, here goes: "daddy puts his penis in momma." Well, guess what? S had no more questions.

CRY BABY (4 3/4 YRS OLD)

S commented on Talia at the playgroup this afternoon.
S: Talia cried alot.
M: Yes.
S: Talia's a crybaby.
M. What?
S: Talia's a crybaby.
M: Why did you say that?
S: She cried alot.
M: Yes. Is anyone else a crybaby?
S: Ella isn't a crybaby.
M: Are you a crybaby?
S: Sometimes.
M: Calling someone a crybaby may make them upset.
Is there something you could do if Talia cries? How about giving her a hug?
S: Sometimes I hug her and then she pushes me away.
M: How about giving her some space?
S: But she is crying?!
M: Well, don't call her a crybaby.

Momma thinks to herself that trying to logic with a four year old is hard work and hopes S doesn't call anyone a "crybaby."

HEARING

Momma has been so frustrated lately because momma has to repeat every request several times again and again before S respond, eventually shouting her request.

After

BUSY WEEK (4 2/3 YR)

This week for S kicked off with big kid playgroup on Monday and a Valentine celebration at Starbright Preschool on Tuesday. Hump day had a tour of the elementary school and Little Gym mini flip class. It ended with a lantern party at home to send out the new year on Thursday and dance class and Little Gym night camp on Friday.

By the end of the week, S was exhaused. Every time momma mentioned the word "nap," S would velomentally respond back with "No nap!" Nevertheless, S would nod off for a minute or two in the car and then open her eyes when momma suggested that naughty word: NAP.

HMMM (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

When asked if S heard me this morning? S responded, "Yeah, you said you were busy." "No," momma said, "Put your dishes away is what I said." Hmm.. S is getting good at tuning momma out, probably because momma often says she is too busy???!!

S often ask some insightful questions about human behavior. At Little Gym tonight, Talia and another boy were in a (playful) pushing match when it accidentally hurt someone. The instructor asked Talia if she was pushing she said no. S asked why Talia lied. She said she saw her push and didn't understand why she said no. Momma said maybe Talia lied because she was worried she would get into trouble. S still persisted and asked, "if lying is bad and if it is bad, why would you lie?" S followed up with, "Does Talia mom lie? Will Talia's children lie?" (Momma remembered this big debate in ethics class and then there were lots of different positions on lying.)

S saw some homeless people, holding signs on the side of the road, go to a car and ask why they had a car. Momma said, "some homeless people live under bridges and if they are lucky, they have a car to live in." S narrated to momma an elaborate story about how the homeless couple live in the car, are married, and their children stay with the mimi and poppy because the mimi and poppy can take care of the children better. When asked how she knew, S responded with "I know." Then momma said, "You know, if momma and daddy died, you probably can't go live with mimi and poppy. Do you know why?" S responded with, "Poppy is old and he will die soon." To that remark, momma just said, "Yes, but let's not say that in front of Poppy so we don't hurt his feelings."

S saw a black crow walking the ground in front of Torchy looking for food. S said, "that bird has four toes. It weird that it has four toes. I saw it in my bird picture." Momma looked at the crow and counted the toes and agreed with S. Momma also thought to herself: S looked at the bird poster? Really?!

S asked, "When I have children? Will you be the Mimi?" "Yes," responded momma.

FOOD FIGHT (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

S is a well-behaved, agreeable, and good nature child. But, lately, momma and S have been clashing heads about food. S has been refusing to eat vegetables, except for broccoli, and even refuses to eat fruit. Right now, she wants one thing and that is pasta, preferably mac and cheese.

Momma thinks it's the one topic that S has a say on. She has no control over many of the things in her life -- from her tv watching to her treats. This is quite the opposite of how she use to be. She use to eat almost every kind of vegetable and every kind of fruit and even try things that have other adults looking surprised.

INDEPENDENCE (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

Independence is a "mixed bag" subject for momma. S gets up every morning and dresses herself, uses the potty by herself, makes her bed, sometimes gets her own breakfast (a waffle), and brushes her own teeth afterwards. Recently, she's motivated to do these things because she is rewarded with a video if she does this.

But since she turned four, she's been getting up and using the potty and dressing herself without any prompting. She's been putting her own shoes since the age of three. Momma and daddy encourages her as much as possible to do thing herself -- get her own silverware, get her own breakfast, ie. waffle or yogurt, or put her dishes in the sink. These actions help her to be more independent as well as free up momma and daddy time, too.

On the other hand, S is still very dependent on momma and daddy to help her socially, e.g. introduce herself to new friends. She often still is clingy around new people and is slow to warm up. And, often still and expects momma and daddy to be her playmate.

Momma notices S's other friends are a mix of independent and dependent actions too. S's BFF Talia is socially independent, often going to play with other kids without prompting or help, but when it comes to taking care of herself, as her Aunt Fiona says, she wants "customer service."

Momma often has to remind herself that every kid is different and every kid grows in spurts in their own physical and emotional growth. S is definitely has a can-do attitude to taking care of herself, but is still figuring out the social part.

CHINESE NEW YEARS (4 2/3 YRS)

S celebrated Chinese New Year at Starbright and at home.

TANTRUMS (4 2/3 yrs)

S has been having more tantrums recently. Momma is not sure what it's attributed to -- testing her boundaries, tiredness (due to lack of sleep) or just another phase. Whatever the reason, she lost her privilege for treats for an entire week after S had a tantrum at Aunt Fiona's house over ice cream. Momma had to carry S out to the car.

STARBRIGHT GNOME (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

A couple of weeks ago, when momma picked up S from school, she and the rest of her class was helping Mr. Richard pick up trash from the playground. She later explained to momma that there was a gnome at Starbright and if you pick up all the trash, he leaves a surprise for you.

Last week, after school, S said, that the gnome didn't leave any surprise for them. Maybe, he was unhappy, S explained. They didn't pick up all the trash on the other side of the gate.

Momma suggested when it wasn't allergy season anymore, that daddy, momma and S could come and pick up the trash from around Starbright to make the gnome happy.

P.S. S said she like marching around the playground fence with the class picking up trash. She liked the marching part.

IN LOVE (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

At bedtime, S asked momma to tell the story about how she met daddy. She briefly said, "I fell in love with daddy and we decided to get marry." S follows up, "Why did you marry daddy." "Because we wanted to be with each other for a long time and wanted to have a family, you!" says Momma. S giggled.

Then, S responded with "I wish I was in love." This made momma laugh. S followed up with "I want to be in love with Milo (a boy from Starbright). Momma responded with, "Being in love is best when two people are both in love with each other. You can't pick the person you." Then S responds, "I want to be in love with Talia because Talia loves me." Momma laughed again. "Talia loves you but she probably wants to be your best friend, not marry you. Lot of women marry women and lots of men marry men, but I'm not sure if Talia wants to marry you. We will talk about this later."

In hindsight, maybe, being in love is as simple as picking someone. But, all momma knows is talking about "love" to a four year old is difficult. In fact, it's just as difficult talking to a forty year old.

FRIENDS (4 2/3 YRS)

Momma picked up a sad S from school today. She picked her up with a pile of artwork and her lunchbox. S pointed to a picture she made for her "friend" Sage. She said, Sage didn't want the picture she drew. It was a picture of a birthday cake and she wrote Sage's name on the back of it. S's feelings were trully hurt and momma knows how much S likes Sage, but unfortunately, it is not reciprocal. Unfortunately, this is not the first time that Sage has disrespected her. S has tried to play with Sage and Evie before and they have both said "no" to her and purposely exclude her from their games (and other girls too).

Momma doesn't know what to say to S. Sometimes friendships are reciprocal and sometimes they aren't. Momma is reminded at Big Kid Playgroup on Monday. S had two choices of playmates, Charles or Albert. She naturally chose Albert. Their personality are more similar. And, unfortunately, Charles was treated like a third wheel. (Some of it is also that Charles has a hard time expressing his friendship. When he wants S attention, he often grabs what she is playing with or is destructive.) So here, the shoe was on the other foot.

All the natural and subtle nuances of friendship is hard to explain and it is something that S has to learn herself.

I DRESS MYSELF (4 2/3 YRS OLD)

S dresses herself very well and probably for more than half of the week, she picks out her own clothing. Right now, her big thing is dresses and tights. (Momma remembers when this was all Cousin Lillian wore too and maybe, still does). For momma, the problem is that it's hard to find appropriate dresses for the cold weather. There often is some negotiation going on between S and momma about layering of clothes.

Although S does dress herself well, the combination is a bit strange, like having a color blind person dress themselves. A flowery pink dress with polka dot tights was one of the outfits that she wore over the weekend.

Momma is often reminded of Aunt Tien and her crazy outfit concoctions and is reminded that Aunt Tien is probably the best dressed among the Le-sisters now. So, momma tries to let it go and worry about layering or plan to worry later when clothing becomes mid-riffed.

POOTING

S has taken farting at everyone. She thinks it's hilarious but for momma "pooting" (as S calls it) is not so funny. Mamma guesses this is four year old humor and she can either ignore it or punish her for it.